Individuals - Intentionally looking inwards, tapping into our authentic self.
The brain is self-organising. If we revisit the experiences it failed to receive early in our lives, it will rewire itself and reduce the hold the nervous system has over us. By focussing our attention on our neglected (embodied) connect and care mode, by looking inward, we can grow new neural pathways to the core of being human and befriend our authentic selves.
Relationships - Moving together. Reconnecting back to the experience that brought you together in the first place.
(Embodied) connect and care mode is a two-way, shared experience of nature’s gift and so it does not have an unhealthy nervous system energy attached to it. Ruptures through life, disconnect our shared experience and take us off into nervous system reactivity that ultimately work against us. By learning to honour our nervous system’s role in protecting us through life, we can then redirect our focus of attention back to the first memories of our connect and care experiences that brought two people together into the most profound experience of joining we can have ever....
Neglect, victimisation, suffering - The little known and unexpected pathways to (embodied) connect and care. (The diamond in the rough)
Who would believe that having to navigate around difficult interpersonal experiences early in life, could also turn us into the kindest individuals ever? In some cases, trauma and neglect can inhibit the wiring up of the sympathetic branch of our autonomic nervous system and move us towards a different strategy, one that wants to reduce the suffering of others. These unique individuals can unknowingly lead with a connect and care mode experience as their default way of engaging in life. They are considered by the (embodied) connect and care theory, as the diamonds in the rough and have huge potential for humanity, once they have made sense of their past and shown their life purpose.
Supporting others - Thinking, feeling, (embodied) connect and care. The three modes we move through that includes you.
When a person becomes excessively consumed in the higher thinking or feeling mode energies of their nervous system’s grip, they lean into either rigid or chaotic behaviours to try to solve their problems. The task of the supporter is to validate their experiences and feelings whilst slowly opening a window of opportunity, through projecting an accurate representation of their own (embodied) connect and care interiority. Once the help-seeker has expired their nervous system's energy, through the supporter's listening and understanding, they gain access to a more rational and healthy way of solving their own situation.
Understanding others - Looking at their rigidity, chaos or helplessness through an (embodied) connect and care lens.
Rigidity, chaos and helplessness have distinct physiological nervous system responses. By observing people’s behaviours, body movements and listening to their stories, we can identify impaired brain functioning and what is needed to help them to re-integrate their brains, through bilateral and vertical integrative, interventions. (Embodied) connect and care theory helps us to understand the brain beneath the behaviour and the difficulties they may have endured, that shaped their brains, far too early in their lives, in ways that do not align with the person they most want to be.
Adolescence - The period of brain reshaping. Helping families work together by understanding nature’s goal.
Adolescence is a period of brain reshaping and specialisation of prior experiences. Nature had a plan that we received an (embodied) connect and care shared, experience with another from birth. So, if we never received what the brain expected, the adolescent will push too hard against their parents, while trying to launch themselves into the world in search of peers and novelty. A lot of us judge our adolescence, which does not help them to understand this confusing remodelling of their brains which is biased towards the modern world at the expense of nature’s gift.
Workplace - (Embodied) connect and care, the untapped resources, drive and intrinsic potential that can influence change in a workplace.
The (embodied) connect and care theory has an absolute belief that every person has untapped resources, drive and potential and it is their unique strengths, experiences and capabilities that can drive change if we can harness them in a collaborative way. We also believe positive change occurs in the context of authentic inter-personal relationships. By the reduction of stressors we can build on an individual's hope and optimism by creating a positive expectation that change is possible. A shift from a rigid problem state to a world of new possibilities.
Healing - Accessing our Inner Essence, Chi, Prana, Reiki, Spirituality, Godliness, Life Force etc. Becoming the conduit for healing through (embodied) connect and care.
A new born child reaches out to its mother with an intent for their pain to be taken away. The mother responds by soothing, caring and healing the child’s pain. We book a doctor’s or counsellor’s visit and notice that we feel better the next day and cancel our appointment. We go to a healer, Reiki master, energy healer, sound healer, any sort of modality and we walk out healed. All these different experiences have one common theme, someone had to have an intent for their pain to be taken away and the other had to have an intent to want to take away their pain. During experiences of joining in (embodied) connect and care, interesting healing outcomes have been observed.
Developmental / Complex PTSD / Attachment Trauma - Calming together, the path to safety, earned security and onward to post traumatic growth.
The (embodied) connect and care theory has shown that there is a mode within us, that seeks permission to know that there is a vulnerable part of us that has needs and longings that have never been met. Severe trauma holds us in our upper modes of mental toughness, emotional control or resignation to a point that we dismiss or manage our existence. Calming together reduces the nervous system's hold over us and allows us to desensitize from it and redirect our experiences to who we most want to be.
Create change - Influence others around you through gratitude.
A person who is chaotic, expects another to justify the unfairness of their situation. A person who is rigid, expects another to justify their need to control. Either way, their behaviours of survival are self serving and they justify them by engaging others in their beliefs and punish those who don't see it their way.
At the polar opposite of these two, are those who have been recipients of these bad behaviours and know all too well what suffering is, because they were never allowed to use these behaviours themselves. But these invisible people can lead by curiosity, openness, acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude and slowly create change around them, once they understand what they have to offer.
Adult children and their misguided blame.
If we consider that most parents want to do the best for their children, the most damaging experience we can ever face, is when our children grow up, turn against us and move into unfair and unjust, controlling or punishing behaviours. But the problem appears to be more about how consuming and distracting the complex modern world has become for all of us through the generations and how it undermines our foundational joining and embodied connect and care experiences, that nature expected us to have together for healthy brain development.
It also sabotages authentic, interpersonal relationships and without a strongly shared, embodied connect and care experience, our adult children see their failures, relationship problems and poor life choices as something external to themselves that they need to blame others for. But the problem is that we are failing to master the skills of looking inwards, where we find kindness, forgiveness and gratitude, just three of many specialities of our embodied connect and care mode, that were not fully experienced and honoured with another so early in our lives.
