The (Embodied) Connect and Care Theory (# see footer) draws on the interdisciplinary framework of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) by Daniel J. Siegel and the Polyvagal theory by Stephen Porges to offer a simplified, non-technical way of understanding non-clinical, mental health, relationship and interpersonal difficulties by splitting the brain into three unique speciality modes that arise sequentially into each other from conception. 1-Embodied) Connect & Care mode, 2-Right mode, 3-Left mode.
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Where the two upper modes represent the specialities of our left and right brains, the lower mode of (Embodied) Connect and Care represents the foundational core of being human, hidden just beneath our minds. All three modes were meant to work together.
Click to view each modes specialities
Left mode - Thoughts / Cognitions, Logic / Display Rules, Language dominant. Interpreted feelings. Certainty - Safety needs. Communication to others. Narrow focus of attention. Factual memory, Content, Literal meaning, Digital, Consciousness, Literal meaning. Facts, Absolutes, Sequential
Right mode, Feelings, Emotions, Language limited, Interpreted body sensations, Agency - Physiological needs, Connections to others, Broad focus of attention, Autobiographical memory, Context, Abstract meaning, Analogue, Semi-conscious, Subjective meaning, Patterns, Possibilities, Parallel
(Embodied) Connect & Care mode - Body sensations, Bonding, Non verbal, Sensations, Bonding needs, Implicit drives, Openness, Implicit unencoded memory, Acceptance, Gratitude, Kindness, Non-conscious, Curiosity, Seeking, Altruism, Forgiveness, Humility, Play, Joy, Unconditional positive regard, Empathic concern, Exploratory, Interoception
Our autonomic (automatic) nervous system delivers energy, information and blood flow, through our seven motivational neural drivers, within and through the brain.
ABC - Three core motivational drivers
Agency (Physiological needs) - The drive to have our physiological needs met. (Air, food, shelter, clothing, homeostasis, etc) When blocked, can lead to frustration, irritation, anger, fury, rage and can eventually drive us to force another to meet our needs.
Bonding (Joining - Sharing) - The drive for relational connection. When blocked can lead to failure, sadness, despondency, separation distress.
Certainty (Safety needs) - The drive for predictability, safety and protection. When blocked can lead to fright, fear, uncertainty and can drive us to escape a situation, something painful or pull away from another to ensure self-preservation.
When our three core motivational drivers are working together, a further 4 motivational drivers become available to us.
Seeking (Motivation, Exploring) - The drive to explore, investigate, and forage for resources.
Intimacy (Lust, Sexuality) - The drive for mating and reproduction.
Care (Nurturance, Caregiving) - The drive to nurture offspring and other vulnerable individuals.
Joy (Play, Excitement) - The drive for social interaction, roughhousing, and bonding.
References -
Jaak Panksepp coined the term “Affective Neuroscience” and described seven primary emotional systems called Seeking, Care, Play, and Lust on the positive side, whereas Fear, Anger and SADNESS belong to the negative affects.
Dan Segal's "Interpersonal Neurobiology" names seven motivational neural networks of Caretaking, Exploratory, Play, Sexuality on the positive side plus Certainty, Agency and Bonding which can also turn into the negative states of FEAR, ANGER and SADNESS.
The (Embodied) Connect & Care Theory follows the Interpersonal Neurobiology theme with a few changed naming variations added for age appropriation.
The autonomic nervous system is responsible for choosing for us, which way it needs to shift us to meet our safety, physiological and bonding needs. Fear (frightened), Anger (frustration) or Sadness (failure) are unbonded, reactive nervous system survival states, that when triggered, can become our traits over time, wrapping around our newly constructed minds and identities. These early states stay with us across the whole lifespan, stored as unencoded implicit, unconscious memories that can produce unhelpful behaviours, feelings and thoughts in the present moment that we wouldn't have otherwise chosen.
#Content subject to current update
"We were meant to bond, join and share a coregulated experience with at least one important other, who makes us important to them, in an equal to or greater, connected and caring experience of subjective meaning. Anything lesser creates enduring consequences across the whole lifespan."
The (Embodied) Connect and Care theory could best describe our foundational core mode as a phenomenon that cannot be readily explained or accessed in rational or emotional terms. It might be best described as early adaptive and reciprocal actions and behaviours of synchronicity within ourselves and between another from the care provided together contingently, the reciprocity of the mutual beneficial exchanges of support, joy, care and concern, the vibrational resonance of being securely attached and attuned to each other's emotional and psychological needs, the co-regulation required for homeostasis harmony and the comfort of both being seen, soothed, safe and secure in the unconditional shared experiences and non-judgemental minds and memories of each other, that was meant to last us a lifetime.
#Content subject to current update
History
It was while working on a national suicide crisis line, that I noticed it was the most disconnected, depressed and suicidal who were also the most authentic and kindest people ever. They could take me with them into this profound mode of joining that arose in the absence of our words and feelings, a place of gratitude, where curiosity, openness, acceptance, forgiveness and kindness, gave them the permission to seek safety, security and hope.
The (embodied) connect and care theory attempts to describe this wordless joining experience, that can move us to become the person we most want to be and why we have become so lost in a modern world that keeps us disconnected from ourselves.
The (Embodied) Connect and Care Theory & Interpersonal Neurobiology
Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) shows us a way of differentiating and linking our two upper brain modes to form a cohesive narrative of our past and move us towards healthy brain integration, awareness, vitality and well-being. IPNB might sound confronting but it is basically a way of understanding how the mind, body and our relationships with others and within ourselves, all shape our developing brains.
The (Embodied) Connect and Care Theory goes further to suggest a third mode, our (embodied) connect and care mode, a wordless mode that arises in the absence of nervous system reactivity while being guided by the care and trust of an authentic other, who can project an accurate representation of their own (embodied) connect and care interiority.
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